the crime comes last of all

an exercise in blurring the truth.

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

first you say "whoa," then you say "yeah."

She saw a little girl today who must have been about seven, wearing snowpants that had dirt stains on the bum and knees. She misses being able to have dirt stains on the seat of her pants.

Sev - Same Old Song

Thursday, March 25, 2004

you drink, you drive, you spill

Her lips are horribly chapped from neglect. Cuts and taut, bloody skin threatening to burst and expose the healing skin beneath. When she smiles, her lower lip splits and her nose wrinkles like it does when she inhales the acrid mix of second-hand tar and nicotine. Which, of course, is totally different from the first-hand mix of tar and THC she wishes she could score right about now. What with the impending doom and all, it's not like she has to worry about her lungs.

NOFX - You Drink, You Drive, You Spill

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

three point one four one five nine two six five. . .

She doesn't wake up until late, probably around three or four. Well, early, but late in conventional layperson's terms, and late in the evening which constitutes her normal working day. Her shoulder pops as she gets up, and while she's padding across the room to get her toothbrush, she notices that half her butt (the left half, for those playing the home game) has fallen asleep - this thanks to the awkward position she fell asleep in, resting against (Charles/Jenny/Amy) while they both sat on the floor in front of the television.

She notices herself in the mirror while she scrubs away unwanted plaque and offensive halitosis, and since she feels that she has particularly nice hair this evening, she gives herself a big grin full of white toothpaste foam.

advanced jello mechanics

She loves watching Her (and yes, the capital letter does apply) eat jello. Or, she did today in the caf. Not that she can do anything but watch surreptitiously, but it's still oddly compelling. She doesn't just shovel it into her mouth, but plays with it, ends up staining Her whole mouth and most of Her lips bright blue - it's like She's kissing it off the spoon.

She's never wanted to be blue jello more in her whole life.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

ahhh, unagi.

Unagi maki, sticky rice holding a bundle of seaweed and cucumber and barbequeued eel, was on her chopsticks this evening at Minato Japanese Restaurant. She feels, y'know, poor. 'Cause of the whole movie thing last night seeing Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and then the sushi dinner because it was Sandy's planned program, so she couldn't not go or she'd be letting him down. And he's so nice.

But also, she's bitter about having to pay for new keys that really, it shouldn't be her fault she lost. Somebody else got her drunk, and took her somewhere, and her keys just disappeared. That is frustrating.

Tonight dinner made her think of Becca, though. She sort of misses the camraderie of not speaking the language or understanding the food that ended up developing. That probably always ends up developing, she just hasn't travelled enough to know.

Friday, March 19, 2004


The taste is watery-sweet, with a strange bitter aftertaste that's vaguely soothing. It's barely tepid now, and every sip is a shock to her nervous system since her brain associates the little paper coffee cup with a rush of warm liquid. When she swallows, the cream leaves a thin film of lipids on her tongue, and the thick, heavy feeling that it leaves behind contrasts so sharply with the coffee flavour that it's almost unpleasant. Almost.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

beer: it's liquid bread, it's good for you.

Chemistry was successful.

She's proud of herself today for reasons which are twofold. First. . .fold: she managed to wake up for her 8:30 class, even though she drank last night and she hasn't been able to get up for her first class in about a week. Secondfoldly, she had a double-double this morning, and it was too sweet. She takes some odd kind of pride from the fact that she almost prefers black coffee, as though it was some strange sort of test she's managed to pass.

They Might Be Giants - Beer Song

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

three point one four one five nine two six five. . .

She's shockingly judgmental of things she doesn't quite understand. Is that surprising, considering. . .well, everything? Fortunately, her judgement is mostly reserved for academia, rather than anything that people could make a stink over.

Generally, if she doesn't feel it has a purpose, it's a stupid waste of time. Like
e. It doesn't really go anywhere, it doesn't have any particular purpose - mathematicians just sort of discovered another non-real number, and decided to name it. Pi, on the other hand, is at least useful. You can't go a whole hell of a lot of anywhere without running into circles or Greeks, so you might as well get used to the whole idea.

Monday, March 15, 2004

"i've been forkin' with Gunn."

Really, she just wanted an excuse to use the word "fork" as a verb, since she's only just discovered what it means.

video surveillance periodically in use.

"video surveillance periodically in use." That's what it says beside the doors entering Fountain, by the elevators, and she thinks it's funny.

Her hair doesn't curl at all. She used to wish it would, since all the pretty girls in her class had wavy hair and somehow she thought if she had curly hair she'd be like them, be able to hang out with them. Even when she braids it after coming from the shower, it doesn't really curl. It hangs straight, with the ends in smooth, perfect waves that she loves, yet resents for their orderly uniformity.

There are days when she resents a lot about herself, from her hair to her hands to the way she's rarely able to keep her inner monologue and outer babbling separate. Then there are the days when she wishes she could have a little dictaphone in her brain, to record all the things she thinks while she walks down the hall to class, because the inside of her head is, for all its foibles, a very interesting place to be.

Her head's all scattered at the moment with school things, worrying about chemistry and biology and russian history, jumping from subject to subject with a velocity that's often frustrating. And also the being-glad, of having somebody to finally confide in (Jessica) about her romantic life, an area she's been remarkably close-mouthed to for the longest time and for obvious reasons. Clearly, this is a burden off, and she's glad for it.

The wavy-haired girls in her class still occupy her fantasies, but in a different way. She doesn't dream of being allowed to play tag with Justine Wilson, who she's since discovered to be a not-very-nice person. She dreams of burying her fingers in dark curls, of waking up to frizzy hair tickling her nose in the morning, and pancake kisses.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

you can be my squeeze toy.

She got VP this week, which was exciting and most satisfying - even though she can't have the job she wanted, she gets the next best thing and that's awesome.

She's also busy as all get out, it's unbelievable. She may have performed. . .below her usual standard, shall we say, on her psych exam. But she worked it all out, and she can keep her A+ as long as she gets above 75% on this test, so. . .at least it won't be too upsetting. She wants to keep that mark high, since it makes her feel smart and Dr. Schellinck was impressed that it was her interim grade, it's always nice to get credit for the knowledge she has.

Also: the girl in her Chem lab named Amy is cute.

Boomtang Boys - Squeeze Toy

Saturday, March 06, 2004

well, crime called in sick today, so it's gonna get a late start too.

click here to take more tests like this at internet junk!
Who's your inner rockstar?

Starsky and Hutch

Friday, March 05, 2004

my milkshake. . .is better than yours.

"Prince William, go back to Calculus Land."

She was part of an inside joke at dinner, and wanted to make sure it got written down.

Kelis - Milkshake

Thursday, March 04, 2004

yo, she-bitch! let's go.

She had a little baby hallucination today, it was kind of fun. While walking past the library to the chem. building, she saw a big metal grate out of the corner of her eye, and thought it was a giant (3 or 4-ft tall) pigeon. Probably facilitated by the large numbers of pigeons around her, she turned to look - thinking she had just seen The Godpigeon - and discovered that no, it was just regular-sized. Beside a grate.

Fittingly, she then went on to hear about LSD in her psych lecture.

Army of Darkness

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

"c" is for cookie, that's good enough for me.

Well, it is.

Monday, March 01, 2004

that'll do it, that'll serve her right. i'm gonna miss her every night.

The crossing guard for Coburg road across from the Quik Way today looks almost exactly like Keith Richards, just shorter and Canadian.

Chris Cummings - That'll Teach Her